Sex & Intimacy: Still Got It (Yes, You Do)

Menopause doesn’t exactly send out a “your sex life is about to change” warning. One day you’re fine, the next you’re Googling “why does my fanny feel like sandpaper?” and wondering who replaced your libido with an early night, watching The Chase in bed with a cup of herbal tea. The truth is nothing’s wrong with you. Your body’s hormones have just rearranged the furniture, and your sex drive might be trying to figure out where the remote went.

What’s Actually Happening

Estrogen drops during menopause, and that affects blood flow, moisture, and tissue elasticity (especially down in the undercarriage). Less estrogen = more dryness, less natural lubrication, and often more discomfort during sex. Add to that the hormonal rollercoaster, night sweats, low energy, and “please don’t touch me, I’m melting,” and well yeah, it's a bit of a mood killer! But here’s the thing: it’s all normal and fixable. You haven’t lost your spark, it’s just hiding under a layer of hormones and exhaustion

The Body & Brain Connection

Sex starts in the brain long before it starts in the bedroom. Stress, anxiety, poor sleep and body image worries can all cause a hit in desire harder than menopause itself. Be gentle with yourself. If your body’s changing, it’s okay to take time to get to know it again. The “new you” might want slower starts, softer lighting or to feel more of a connection before the action. That’s not boring, that’s maturity with benefits

Tools, Tips & Tricks (Because Dry Is Not a Personality)

• Lube is your new best friend. And not the cheap stuff. Go for good-quality water or silicone-based lubricants (the kind that don’t feel like you're gluing your flaps together).

• Local estrogen creams or pessaries. These can work wonders for dryness and comfort. Safe, low-dose and available via prescription.

• Talk about it. If you have a partner, let them know what’s going on. This isn’t about rejection, it’s about adjusting together.

• Don’t rush it. Take your time. Flirt. Kiss. Laugh. Rediscover the fun parts.

Sex Isn’t Just “Sex”

Menopause can be a turning point physically and emotionally. You might notice your idea of intimacy shifting. It becomes less about performance and more about connection.

Touch, closeness, affection, all of that still matters (and honestly, gets better when you stop caring about perfection). This phase can actually make sex more fulfilling, just in a different way.

And If You’re Just Not Feeling It

That’s okay too. Libido comes and goes, especially with stress, fatigue, or relationship shifts. It’s not a personal failure or a reflection of your femininity. If your low libido is really bothering you, speak to your GP or menopause specialist, sometimes low-dose testosterone or other treatments can help. And remember, pleasure isn’t limited to what it used to be. Explore, experiment, and do what feels good for you

A Little Reminder

You haven’t “lost” your sex drive, it’s just under renovation. Give your body time to catch up to your new rhythm. You’re not past your prime, you’re in a different season of it.

Confidence is the best aphrodisiac. Feeling empowered in your own body takes the stress out of it. Just have fun with it and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.